BLOOD DIAMOND
BLOOD DIAMOND (BD) is actually a much simpler movie than its makers want you to believe. It comes down to 2 simple questions...Will He?...Or Won't He? The He in question is Danny Archer, an South African mercenary played by Leonardo DiCaprio. Archer discovers that an African man, played by Djimon Hounsou, may posses a diamond of unimaginable wealth. The African man's son has been kidnapped by rebels who are forcing him to fight their war against the government. The diamond is the answer to his son's freedom. The diamond is also the answer to Archer leaving the dark continent to greener pastures. The two form an alliance to retrieve the diamond and split its wealth. Archer is a sleaze ball. Can he be trusted? Will he honor the agreement or take the diamond and leave his partner high and dry? Is there any question? The film shows many scenes of genocide and horror. Africa is not a nice place. However, I've seen it all before in much better films. Because of this the film lacks any emotional punch from the heartache shown on screen. BD gets a "7". The film is well shot by Edward Zwick. He does a good job supplying the audience with a few suspenseful moments. Leo is nominated for best actor for his role as Archer...He has a good chance of winning.
The film would like you to believe that the evil West is responsible for the horrors behind the diamond trade in Africa. Does anyone really believe that if it wasn't for diamonds the Sierra Leone would be a war-less place inhabited by shiny happy people? I think not. Bleeding hearts will see it the other way.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Original Sacrafice
APOCALYPTO
Sometimes a movie comes along that is so original that I almost want to scream when I scan box office numbers to find that people are not going to the theater to see it. APOCALYPTO is that movie of 2006. There are two obvious reasons for the lacking dollar signs at the box office.
The first was Mel Gibson's drunkin' racial tirade. Everyone has bad days. Unfortunately for Mel, some have worse days than others. Also, the media doesn't care when an average joe has a bad day. There's no story at 11 when I go on a profanity ridden tirade when the little girl my wife is babysitting removes my cherished U2 CDs from their cases and uses them as Lincoln logs to build a tent for her doll.
The second was no one could name an actor in the movie. Personally, I think this is a good thing. If directors were honest I bet they would love to work with ego-less thespians who don't complain about the screenplay or complain that their favorite food isn't on the catering menu. The creative process must move so smoothly when not having to deal with agents and the entourages of the actors.
APOCALYPTO is the story of Jaguar Paw. After his tribe is slaughtered by a rival tribe he is taken prisoner to a Mayan temple to be sacrificed to the Sun God. Jaguar Paw escapes and races through the rain forest in hopes to find his pregnant wife and child safe and sound. Hot on his trail is a hunting group that has a score to settle. The film is one big chase...maybe the best chase movie ever made. APOCALYPTO gets a "9". Rent this movie as soon as it arrives on DVD.
...However, be warned...APOCALYPTO is a bloody, violent, and intense film. Its "R" rating is there for a reason. It's bloodier and more violent than any so called intense horror film of the past decade. You've been warned.
Sometimes a movie comes along that is so original that I almost want to scream when I scan box office numbers to find that people are not going to the theater to see it. APOCALYPTO is that movie of 2006. There are two obvious reasons for the lacking dollar signs at the box office.
The first was Mel Gibson's drunkin' racial tirade. Everyone has bad days. Unfortunately for Mel, some have worse days than others. Also, the media doesn't care when an average joe has a bad day. There's no story at 11 when I go on a profanity ridden tirade when the little girl my wife is babysitting removes my cherished U2 CDs from their cases and uses them as Lincoln logs to build a tent for her doll.
The second was no one could name an actor in the movie. Personally, I think this is a good thing. If directors were honest I bet they would love to work with ego-less thespians who don't complain about the screenplay or complain that their favorite food isn't on the catering menu. The creative process must move so smoothly when not having to deal with agents and the entourages of the actors.
APOCALYPTO is the story of Jaguar Paw. After his tribe is slaughtered by a rival tribe he is taken prisoner to a Mayan temple to be sacrificed to the Sun God. Jaguar Paw escapes and races through the rain forest in hopes to find his pregnant wife and child safe and sound. Hot on his trail is a hunting group that has a score to settle. The film is one big chase...maybe the best chase movie ever made. APOCALYPTO gets a "9". Rent this movie as soon as it arrives on DVD.
...However, be warned...APOCALYPTO is a bloody, violent, and intense film. Its "R" rating is there for a reason. It's bloodier and more violent than any so called intense horror film of the past decade. You've been warned.
Bad Boys, Bad Boys
ALPHA DOG
The American Dream used to be study hard at school and college, work hard at your profession to make a descent living, and then retire. Today it's a little different. The younger generation of today wants to get rich quick without really trying by any means necessary. Look at all of the reality television shows...people with no talent and prospects hope to make it big...quickly.
ALPHA DOG is supposedly based on a true story about a bunch of trouble maker drug dealing kids who get into a bad situation that results in murder. So much for the American dream. The short of the plot is this: A small time drug dealer owes another drug dealer money. When the debt isn't paid. The younger brother of the drug dealer is held ransom by the other drug dealer until the debt is paid. While being kidnapped the younger brother becomes friends with his captors and begins to enjoy the partying life-style drug dealers enjoy . Like I stated above, all of the people involved are teenagers...they are all idiots.
Although not a perfect film it does have its moments. The film will be remembered for the acting debut of Justin Timberlake. The critics panned his performance...I thought it was OK. ALPHA DOG gets a "7".
Remember this name...Emile Hirsch. He is a great young actor who no one knows about. He has been around for a few years. Acting wise, he was the lone bright spot in ALPHA DOG. Check out the following films that show off his talents:
LORDS OF DOGTOWN...See my review from October 2005.
THE EMPEROR'S CLUB...A very under-appreciated film starring Kevin Kline.
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR...A fun teenager movie that was panned. Professional critics need to lighten up a bit.
The American Dream used to be study hard at school and college, work hard at your profession to make a descent living, and then retire. Today it's a little different. The younger generation of today wants to get rich quick without really trying by any means necessary. Look at all of the reality television shows...people with no talent and prospects hope to make it big...quickly.
ALPHA DOG is supposedly based on a true story about a bunch of trouble maker drug dealing kids who get into a bad situation that results in murder. So much for the American dream. The short of the plot is this: A small time drug dealer owes another drug dealer money. When the debt isn't paid. The younger brother of the drug dealer is held ransom by the other drug dealer until the debt is paid. While being kidnapped the younger brother becomes friends with his captors and begins to enjoy the partying life-style drug dealers enjoy . Like I stated above, all of the people involved are teenagers...they are all idiots.
Although not a perfect film it does have its moments. The film will be remembered for the acting debut of Justin Timberlake. The critics panned his performance...I thought it was OK. ALPHA DOG gets a "7".
Remember this name...Emile Hirsch. He is a great young actor who no one knows about. He has been around for a few years. Acting wise, he was the lone bright spot in ALPHA DOG. Check out the following films that show off his talents:
LORDS OF DOGTOWN...See my review from October 2005.
THE EMPEROR'S CLUB...A very under-appreciated film starring Kevin Kline.
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR...A fun teenager movie that was panned. Professional critics need to lighten up a bit.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
SHE WAS RIGHT
NORBIT
When I first saw the trailer for NORBIT starring Eddie Murphy last November, I placed opening day on my calender. Each weekend when I went to the theater I laughed more than the previous week at the NORBIT trailer. With my wife sitting next to me as I laughed, she would turn her head and would say "Feel free to see that one without me". I replied with "no problem"...I thought she was crazy. How could this movie go wrong. I had visions of THE NUTTY PROFESSOR. NORBIT seemed to be on par with that comedy masterpiece where Murphy portrayed several characters.
Opening day arrived and I was first in line to purchase my ticket...and first to be disappointed. Less than 10 minutes into the film I was bored. As joke after joke fell flat my thoughts turned to my wife. I was going to have to admit to her that she was right. NORBIT gets a "2".
Eddie Murphy's first movie role in 1982's 48 HOURS. Since then movies.com has credited him with 36 film appearances. As I scanned through the list I only found 5 that I rated higher than an "8". I give you Eddie Murphy's top 5 films.
EDDIE MURPHY'S TOP 5 MOVIES
1. 48 Hours
2. Beverly Hills Cop
3. The Nutty Professor
4. Coming To America
5. Trading Places
When I first saw the trailer for NORBIT starring Eddie Murphy last November, I placed opening day on my calender. Each weekend when I went to the theater I laughed more than the previous week at the NORBIT trailer. With my wife sitting next to me as I laughed, she would turn her head and would say "Feel free to see that one without me". I replied with "no problem"...I thought she was crazy. How could this movie go wrong. I had visions of THE NUTTY PROFESSOR. NORBIT seemed to be on par with that comedy masterpiece where Murphy portrayed several characters.
Opening day arrived and I was first in line to purchase my ticket...and first to be disappointed. Less than 10 minutes into the film I was bored. As joke after joke fell flat my thoughts turned to my wife. I was going to have to admit to her that she was right. NORBIT gets a "2".
Eddie Murphy's first movie role in 1982's 48 HOURS. Since then movies.com has credited him with 36 film appearances. As I scanned through the list I only found 5 that I rated higher than an "8". I give you Eddie Murphy's top 5 films.
EDDIE MURPHY'S TOP 5 MOVIES
1. 48 Hours
2. Beverly Hills Cop
3. The Nutty Professor
4. Coming To America
5. Trading Places
Hannibal: Anti-Hero
HANNIBAL RISING
Hannibal Lecter is not only one of the best film villains of this generation, Hannibal Lecter has almost become one of the best characters in film history. Beginning in 1986 with MANHUNTER, the Lecter character has thrilled and surprised audiences with his cunning ability to control and out-wit the smartest and brightest of law enforcement. Oh yeah, he also has the most famous appetite of any movie character since...no one.
The world first came to know Hannibal in 1990's SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. Who doesn't like this film? Anthony Hopkins was so strong in his portrayal of the madman that he turned a part that had just under 20 minutes of screen time into an Oscar win for best actor in a leading role. However, something happened to the series in 2000's HANNIBAL. In the film Lecter becomes an avenging angel, the ultimate anti-hero saving his beloved Clarice from her publicity hungry FBI boss. In the end, the FBI boss didn't have the brains needed to out-wit Lecter. The film was average at best. Watching Hannibal control the plot from behind bars was much more fun than watching him control and create chaos from outside of his jail cell.
HANNIBAL RISING (HR) is much the same. The film makers of HR tells the story that they think movie audiences want to know...How did Hannibal end up being a cannibal? The film begins in the midst of WWII in Romania. To escape approaching Nazis young Hannibal, his little sister, and parents leave Lecter castle to a hunting lodge in a forest. Eventually they are found. After their parents are killed Young Hannibal and his little sister are held captive in the lodge by a band of Nazi sympathizers. With U.S forces vastly approaching they are unable to leave the lodge in fear of capture. Time passes as food and drink run out. Starving and desperate the Nazis turn to young Hannibal's sister to quiet the rumblings in their empty bellies...they cook her flesh and boil her bones in a stew...they eat her.
HANNIBAL RISING is a revenge film. Hannibal survives the war and escapes an orphanage to Paris and finds shelter with a long lost relative. He attends medical school but never forgets the haunting memories of the lodge in the forest. He wants revenge and he vows that the Nazis will pay with their lives. When Hannibal finds the group still together and still up to no good the film almost turns into a horror flick. Hannibal tortures each member of the group, picking them off one by one. It's easy to dislike Nazis, the audience doesn't need them to eat humans to make them more unlikeable. The director doesn't need to hit us over the head with a frying pan to convince us that we want Hannibal to win...And are we in any doubt that he won't?
The film is well shot and kept my interest through-out. I was waiting for a better ending but it never arrived, but over-all HR is a good film. I guess comparing it to Silence of the Lambs is unfair. Silence is the fillet minon of movies, Hannibal Rising is a really good hamburger. I give it a "7".
There have been 5 Hannibal films. Below I rate them from 1-5.
1. The Silence of the Lambs
2. Manhunter
3. Red Dragon
4. Hannibal Rising
5. Hannibal
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
MADE FOR T.V.
THE GUARDIAN
How do predictable movies ever make it to the big screen? Predictable movies belong on Lifetime where the viewer doesn't expect much in the realm of awe-inspiring dialogue and great acting. The Guardian tells the familiar yarn of a young cocky coast guard swimmer wanna-be, played by Ashton Kutcher, trying to survive basic training while attempting to impress his hard-ass drill Sergent, played by Kevin Costner...Has anyone heard of AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMEN?
It's not that the acting is horrible...It's the story. We've seen this all before. While the beginning credits rolled I told my wife "we already know what's gonna happen in this movie....the training will be tough, the teacher and student will butt heads, they'll eventually bond, save some people and someone will die". My clairvoyant abilities didn't fail me...I was right on the money.
THE GUARDIAN is not awful...It's just not great. I give it a "5".
Kevin Costner has been around for a while. He is a great actor who has been in his share of great movies as well as flops. Movies.com credits Costner with 36 movies. I gave 11 of those movies a rating of 8 or higher. Below are my top 5 Costner flicks.
1. JFK
2. The Untouchables
3. Open Range
4. No Way Out
5. Dances With Wolves
How do predictable movies ever make it to the big screen? Predictable movies belong on Lifetime where the viewer doesn't expect much in the realm of awe-inspiring dialogue and great acting. The Guardian tells the familiar yarn of a young cocky coast guard swimmer wanna-be, played by Ashton Kutcher, trying to survive basic training while attempting to impress his hard-ass drill Sergent, played by Kevin Costner...Has anyone heard of AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMEN?
It's not that the acting is horrible...It's the story. We've seen this all before. While the beginning credits rolled I told my wife "we already know what's gonna happen in this movie....the training will be tough, the teacher and student will butt heads, they'll eventually bond, save some people and someone will die". My clairvoyant abilities didn't fail me...I was right on the money.
THE GUARDIAN is not awful...It's just not great. I give it a "5".
Kevin Costner has been around for a while. He is a great actor who has been in his share of great movies as well as flops. Movies.com credits Costner with 36 movies. I gave 11 of those movies a rating of 8 or higher. Below are my top 5 Costner flicks.
1. JFK
2. The Untouchables
3. Open Range
4. No Way Out
5. Dances With Wolves
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
ILL COMMUNICATION
BABEL
It's difficult to watch BABEL without thinking about are comparing it to 2005's CRASH. Each film has several story lines and each were nominated for best picture (CRASH won and BABEL has a great chance of winning this year). There are two differences between the films. CRASH takes place in L.A. and BABEL's story lines take place international in 4 countries. The 2nd difference is...CRASH is a better film, I gave it a "10".
BABEL stars Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, and a international cast of other actors who I've never heard of. Where Crash dealt with racial themes, BABEL deals with the less interesting theme of communication...or lack there of. The 4 story lines include a deaf mute in Japan, Moroccan goat farmers, a vacationing American couple, and a Hispanic nanny caring for 2 American children. How do these story lines connect?...watch the movie to find out.
Although I was interested with each of BABEL's plots, neither of them gripped me like the plots in CRASH. Scenes in CRASH stayed with me for months. BABEL stayed with me until I got home from the theater. However, the film is well made with good to very good performances from all cast members. The stand-out performance was by Rinko Kikuchi (left), she plays the deaf mute, and is an Oscar hopeful for one of the film's 7 Oscar nominations. After the Oscars, American audiences may never hear from her again, but her performance will always be considered great.
BABEL gets a "7". No need to rush to the theater to see it. Watching it at home on DVD will not make the viewing experience less than in the theater.
FACT: BABEL is directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. He also directed 21 GRAMS starring Sean Penn and Niomi Watts....WATTS was nominated for an Oscar for her performance.
It's difficult to watch BABEL without thinking about are comparing it to 2005's CRASH. Each film has several story lines and each were nominated for best picture (CRASH won and BABEL has a great chance of winning this year). There are two differences between the films. CRASH takes place in L.A. and BABEL's story lines take place international in 4 countries. The 2nd difference is...CRASH is a better film, I gave it a "10".
BABEL stars Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, and a international cast of other actors who I've never heard of. Where Crash dealt with racial themes, BABEL deals with the less interesting theme of communication...or lack there of. The 4 story lines include a deaf mute in Japan, Moroccan goat farmers, a vacationing American couple, and a Hispanic nanny caring for 2 American children. How do these story lines connect?...watch the movie to find out.
Although I was interested with each of BABEL's plots, neither of them gripped me like the plots in CRASH. Scenes in CRASH stayed with me for months. BABEL stayed with me until I got home from the theater. However, the film is well made with good to very good performances from all cast members. The stand-out performance was by Rinko Kikuchi (left), she plays the deaf mute, and is an Oscar hopeful for one of the film's 7 Oscar nominations. After the Oscars, American audiences may never hear from her again, but her performance will always be considered great.
BABEL gets a "7". No need to rush to the theater to see it. Watching it at home on DVD will not make the viewing experience less than in the theater.
FACT: BABEL is directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. He also directed 21 GRAMS starring Sean Penn and Niomi Watts....WATTS was nominated for an Oscar for her performance.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
666 REASONS
THE OMEN
I'm 35 years old. I've never wanted kids and never will. I actually have a very long list of reasons why I'll never have children. While watching THE OMEN I thought of a reason that stretches my list past the 150 mark. REASON # 151 WHY I DON'T WANT CHILDREN...THAT CUTE LITTLE BABY MIGHT BE THE DEVIL'S SON.
THE OMEN is the remake of the same named film from 1976. As a kid I remember watching the original. As an adult I realized that THE OMEN was most likely the first film I watched that starred Gregory Peck! How sad.
The new version is technically a better movie than the first. The plot is almost exactly the same, however the direction and acting is all better in the updated version. But, because the plot is the same as the first I saw nothing new. If you liked the original you won't think the new version is better. If you disliked the original, the newer version won't change your mind.
THE OMEN gets a "4".
I'm 35 years old. I've never wanted kids and never will. I actually have a very long list of reasons why I'll never have children. While watching THE OMEN I thought of a reason that stretches my list past the 150 mark. REASON # 151 WHY I DON'T WANT CHILDREN...THAT CUTE LITTLE BABY MIGHT BE THE DEVIL'S SON.
THE OMEN is the remake of the same named film from 1976. As a kid I remember watching the original. As an adult I realized that THE OMEN was most likely the first film I watched that starred Gregory Peck! How sad.
The new version is technically a better movie than the first. The plot is almost exactly the same, however the direction and acting is all better in the updated version. But, because the plot is the same as the first I saw nothing new. If you liked the original you won't think the new version is better. If you disliked the original, the newer version won't change your mind.
THE OMEN gets a "4".
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