The Ring 2...Making Up the Rules As They Go

2002's THE RING "5" suffered from a common syndrome in Hollywood: You can't judge a book by its cover syndrome. This syndrome occurs when a movie's director and cinematographer have an over active imagination who care more about impressing the audience visually instead of caring about important things such as the screenplay. In my movie fantasy world Hollywood would use special effects to compliment the screenplay. In today's Hollywood, and most likely in the future, it's the other way around. While viewing THE RING, it looked great. The high production value resulted in several memorable scenes, but unfortunately those scenes amounted to a confusing plot that involved a haunted videotape. Why the video tape was made, who made the videotape, and did they know it was haunted was never clear to me.

In THE RING 2, the video tape is back. Do people still use VCRs? This movie is a mess. In the first RING the rules are as follows: if you watch the videotape you'll die 7 days later. The "curse" can be lifted if you have someone else watch the videotape. If this happens the "curse" is lifted from you and moves on to the person who watched the videotape after you. Ridiculous concept, but easy to understand. In R1 the two protagonists are saved by doing this. Blockbuster's late fees never looked so good! R2 forgets the rules established in R1 because the "curse" or "ghost" is looking for payback from the two protagonists from R1. The screenplay didn't explain this which really bugged the hell out of me. A second rule that isn't followed from R1 is the use of televisions as the "portal" that the ghost uses to travel from "ghost-world" to the human world. In R2 it is implied that digital cameras can be used as a portal. What will be used in R3...A microwave? In R4...An alarm clock? Even the worst horror movies have rules that are followed from sequel to painful sequel. Take the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise, no matter what gruesome end falls upon Jason...You know he's not dead. His head could be chopped off, he could be struck by lightning, or run over with a hotel van...It simply doesn't matter, Jason is alive...Its a rule and the movie doesn't break the rule.

As the film continues to make up rules the audience is witness to every stock horror trick in the history of horror film making to let you know that you should be scared. Flickering light bulbs, lots of spider webs, eerie music, and the occational ghostly whisper of the protagonist's name are all signs of an uninventive script and a characteristic of a desperate film maker at their wit's end. The "ghostly whisper" device always brings up a couple of questions: Did the character hear the voice? Did I hear the voice or is it someone snoring behind me? It doesn't matter. Once the audience starts asking these type of questions the film has lost all credibility and has become quite lame. R2 quickly reaches this point in it's first 20 minutes.

I didn't like R2. Sometimes a bad movie is so bad that it becomes good. Viewers can be entertained by making fun of the many ways the movie fails. But sometimes a movie is so bad...it's just plain bad. R2 receives a "1".

National Treasure...Where's the Nazis?

When NATIONAL TREASURE was released late year I thought...No way! A movie about treasure hunting without Indiana Jones or Angelina Jolie's lips?!...I'll pass. But when on the road for work, stuck in a hotel room I decided to shell out $9.99 plus .35 cents for handling and applicable taxes and watch NATIONAL TREASURE. Maybe it was the western air, maybe it was the huge steak I ate earlier that evening that put me in a heavenly mood...Regardless...I enjoyed NATIONAL TREASURE.

Nicholas Cage is usually hit or miss. When an actor is in as many roles as Cage you are bound to waste a few reels of film now and then (gee...Does he need the cash like DeNiro?), remember 8MM, TRAPPED IN PARADISE, and SNAKE EYES?...yikes! In NT Cage plays the youngest in the Gates family. The Gates clan believe that America's founding fathers incorporated clues to hidden loot in various "national treasures" such as the Declaration of Independence and the Liberty Bell. As the heroes run from bad guys in Washington D.C. and Philadelphia I became increasingly entertained and interested in the next "national treasure" that was securing the next clue to the hidden treasure...Like I said above, maybe I was delirious from the huge steak.

The one negative aspect to NT is the villain. When it comes to treasure hunting movies I prefer the villains to be Nazis. When Nazis are involved I root for the good guys a little harder and cheer a little louder when the Nazis fail. Can you imagine RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARC "10" and INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE "8" without Nazis as the villains? In NT, the villain is played by Sean Bean (no relation to Mr. Bean). He plays the role flat and isn't very menacing. Other than trying to blow up Cage and his crew at the beginning of the movie with 200 year old gun powder, he doesn't try very hard to rub out the good guys.

On the other hand, the producers of the flick can be commended for this. The violence is reduced to explosions and fist fights. At the end of NT the villain gets arrested! In an action movie isn't the villain supposed to die with a bullet to the head or in a fiery explosion? NATIONAL TREASURE is a fun family movie that parents can watch with younger teenagers, and both will enjoy it. NATIONAL TREASURE receives a "7".

Have you seen 1987's RAISING ARIZONA "10"? It is Nicholas Cage's first great movie and is on my top 20 list of all time favorite movies. Check it out!

Hide and Seek...Brother, can you spare a dime?

HIDE AND SEEK isn't the worst movie I've seen, I give it a "3", but when considering Robert DeNiro is the star I think it's fair to expect a little more from the actor who breathed life into such characters as Travis Bickle, Jimmy Conway, and the young Godfather. I will avoid the various reasons why this movie blows and instead plead...Beg...Urge DeNiro to consult me before taking roles in any other Hollywood fluff pieces.

Its depressing that a great living American actor is in movies such as HIDE AND SEEK and last year's GODSEND ("1"). This outrage must stop. DeNiro's commercial spot for the American Express Card has more depth and emotion that his last two movies. Does he need the cash? I can respect that, but please do movie fans a favor and be honest with us. Does he need the cash so he can donate to the Save the Yellow Tail Snail of Argentina Fund? Does he need the cash to donate to the ACLU? Does he need the cash to to add an 18th wing to his mansion? Although all of these causes are worthless and idiotic, it would be a better explanation than..."Gee, I think I can make movie audiences care and cheer for a crazy doctor wanting to clone his dead son by injecting the dead son's DNA into a womb of an unexpected woman", or "Wow, I get to play a character slowly going insane who thinks he's a child named Charlie...And terrorizing a little girl at the same time!!..Sign me up!" All I ask is...Bob, be honest with us.

One more rant regarding HIDE AND SEEK. Has an actress ever did less after an Oscar nomination than Elizabeth Shue?

SIN CITY...more comments

Alan mentioned that people walked out of his showing of SIN CITY...I also noticed that...but at the end of the movie about half of the theater stood and applauded(!)...no kidding! The flick grossed $28 million over the weekend.

RAY: Beware of blind men caressing your lower arm.

RAY...I suppose it was a good movie. The movie didn't do any favors for the Charles legacy which surprises me because the producers received blessings from the RC family after the movie was complete. Although I appreciate the talent of RC, I can't get into R&B/gospel. I don't have any of his CDs.

Charles was one hell of a s.o.b. The movie portrays RC as a moody womanizing drug addicted musical genius. The movie wanted to make you believe that his best talent was his piano playing abilities. I was more impressed with his gift of "feeling" if a woman was worth bedding by caressing her lower arm...That's a gift! This is a good example of all musical geniuses: admire the musical talent, not the man.

Jamie Foxx did a great job of winning the Oscar for best karaoke...I mean best acting performance. Being nominated for an Oscar must feel very good after starring in BOOTY CALL. The most interesting aspect of the movie was that RC trusted no one, which I guess makes since because of his blindness. On the other hand, he was a s.o.b, his "friends" seemed to "put up" with him because of that very blindness and because RC was their meal ticket.

I give RAY a 6, just above average. The movie isn't bad, but at the same time did nothing for me on an emotional level. RC's talent wasn't that he was a great piano player... He was a great piano player that was blind. But is that impressive? I can do a lot of things "blind"...With my eyes closed. I can tie my shoes, walk around my house, get dressed, shave...All with my eyes closed. In fact, I bet I could learn to play the piano with my eyes closed. I couldn't play something as impressive as RC...But maybe something simple like Mary Had A Little Lamb or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Before seeing RAY I always pictured him playing a piano, wearing dark shades, big smile on his face...swaying back and forth with his music. Now I picture him playing a piano, wearing dark shades, big smile on his face...swaying back and forth to his music while high on heroin. Thanks Hollywood.

SIN CITY...ULTIMATE GUY MOVIE

...Not only is SIN CITY the ultimate guy movie, it may be the coolest movie since PULP FICTION. SIN CITY has many memorable characters, my favorites were Marvin played by Micky Rourke and Jackie Boy played by Benicio Del Toro. Both characters are played to the helt and take advantage of the creative licence that's issued when playing characters from a comic book. The flick is divided into 3 short stories...I liked the first which featured Marvin best.

SIN CITY is directed by Robert Rodriguez. It's nice to see him come back to "blood and guts" after boring his adult fans for 3 years with the SPY KIDS franchise. Each scene in SIN CITY is memorable and awesome to look at. Mostly filmed in a silvery black and white with dashes of color (mostly red...to show blood) the comic book world really comes to life. The flick reminded me of a fantasy world where men rule and are worshiped by hot chicks that are packing guns and knives. Feminists will not like this movie.

SIN CITY may be the most original movie I've ever seen. I rate it a "9". It will definately make my best movie list for 2005.

If you like violence, blood, witty dialogue, nudity, larger than life characters...go see this movie.

If you want to check out other Rodriguez movies check out FROM DUSK TILL DAWN starring George Clooney. Before SIN...this was his best.

Sticking with the comic book theme....check out 2000's UNBREAKABLE starring Bruce Willis (who is also in SIN CITY) and Samual L. Jackson. The movie isn't based on a comic book but deals with many comic book themes. IT was my favorite movie of 2000.

....looking forward to reading other opinions regarding SIN CITY.